A final municipal tax notice arrived in the mailboxes of township residents this week, prompting what observers are calling “an unusually rich” round of community discussion about civic finances, urban planning theory, and whether the town is, in some unspecified but important way, attempting to become a city, The Corn has confirmed.

The discussion was kicked off by a post featuring the text “Just received my final tax notice in the mail what a bunch of horse shit this is $500 increase. And you get nothing for it” superimposed over a stock photograph of a mountain at night beneath a starry sky, an image-text format that local typographers describe as “the genre’s most popular layout for civic outrage in the calendar year.”

In the comments, residents traced the origin of the increase to what one commenter described, in language that has since spread to a second comment, a third, and at least two follow-up posts, as “the culvert debauchery.” The phrase, which appears to be original to this thread, was not defined. Subsequent commenters used it as if it were a well-understood term of art.

A Corn reporter attempted to research the culvert debauchery and was unable to determine, with confidence, which specific culvert was being referenced, what specifically had gone wrong with it, or in what sense the resulting expenditure could fairly be characterized as a debauchery. Asked for clarification, a commenter explained that “you know which one” and declined to elaborate.

Other contributing causes proposed in the same thread:

• Condemning buildings so the township can buy them to build big glass structures. No specific structures were identified. No specific buildings were identified. The commenter appeared confident that this was happening.
• Traffic signals for pedestrians. Treated as self-evidently a problem.
• Minimal snow removal efforts. Asserted in the same comment as the glass structures, in a way that implied the two were related.
• A general effort by the township to be “like the city,” which the commenters agreed was undesirable, though which city specifically was meant was not specified at any point.
• The wheels that grind like to spend other people’s money, an observation offered without further context but to which several other residents indicated they could relate.

A counter-commenter responded that “in 5 years time you will like that the old ugly buildings are gone,” that demographics are changing, and that tourist dollars and new businesses are healthy. This was a minority position.

The thread also generated a parallel meta-discussion about where the complaint should properly be lodged. One commenter argued that residents should “not complain to Facebook” and should instead “go complain at town hall.” A second commenter clarified that Facebook complaints and town hall complaints were in fact complementary: the Facebook stage groups residents together, and the town hall stage is what they do once grouped. Both commenters received likes. Neither commenter went to town hall.

A third commenter, replying to no one in particular, observed only that “it’s voting time soon.” This received seven likes and no replies, which observers interpreted as either ominous foreshadowing or a casual statement of fact, depending on which type of resident the observer was.

At press time, the tax notice remained paid. The culvert debauchery remained ongoing. The phrase “trying to be like the city” had been used four additional times in two new threads, neither of which were about the tax notice. The Corn will report further once the culvert in question has been identified.